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business
January 2009 
Debt Aversion
Posted on Sep 14th, 2008
by 
Jen
Jen
I can't claim not to have debt. My first commitment to big debt was for my education in my 30s. This hasn't been the greatest experience since I'm still paying it off 10 years later. I thought I was buying an asset but it hasn't proven to be the case. (I foolishly got a degree in English, and after my very last final, a prof told me about my miserable prospects, gave me a whole journal dedicated to the predicament of people with phds in English unable to find employment.)
At the pushing of my parents (and a ridiculous rental market), I finally "bought" a house at the age of 40--only to have to sell it a couple of years later due to being jobless from illness. Yet this last experience was not altogether negative. I did net a little from the sale and I liked having a yard and control over my space. So when I moved down to AL, I again bought a house. Yet this house seems to be something of a money hog. I'm wondering if I should have stretched to get a more expensive and thus less problem-ridden house.
House-buying was my first experience in the constructive use of debt. I'm trying to figure out other ways that using debt might enhance my life. Taking out a $2,000 loan to start a business was another attempt. Yet I think my debt aversion (or needing to feel safe around money) has harmed me in this instance too. Such a small loan has not provided enough money for adequate advertising. With a larger loan I also could have paid for the full 6 mos on my office lease. $2,000 felt risky to me yet perhaps it was not risky enough. Or I guess what I'm getting at is what SEEMS like more risk, sometimes isn't. Sometimes it's what's necessary to get beyond riskiness. It's all very strange to me. I can think big in terms of ideas but not in terms of money.
Many people would cry with joy to have the credit card balance I do. Yet it bothers me to be carrying any credit card balance. I'm told by financial magazines that I shouldn't be, that credit card debt crushes people. Yet, when I read about entrepreneuers and how they get their business up and going, they often take the risk of maxing out their credit cards. I'm not going to go that far, but I think I do need to look at how best to use my credit card as a financial resource during this time, to not be so afraid that I hamstring myself by fear of using it instead of from using it too much, as most people apparently do.
This is quite a quandry for me. What is the right use of credit or debt? When is being too conservative being too risky? I fear this is one of those things one has to learn from experience and that I should have started learning MUCH earlier than this so I'd have more time to recover from mistakes.
At the pushing of my parents (and a ridiculous rental market), I finally "bought" a house at the age of 40--only to have to sell it a couple of years later due to being jobless from illness. Yet this last experience was not altogether negative. I did net a little from the sale and I liked having a yard and control over my space. So when I moved down to AL, I again bought a house. Yet this house seems to be something of a money hog. I'm wondering if I should have stretched to get a more expensive and thus less problem-ridden house.
House-buying was my first experience in the constructive use of debt. I'm trying to figure out other ways that using debt might enhance my life. Taking out a $2,000 loan to start a business was another attempt. Yet I think my debt aversion (or needing to feel safe around money) has harmed me in this instance too. Such a small loan has not provided enough money for adequate advertising. With a larger loan I also could have paid for the full 6 mos on my office lease. $2,000 felt risky to me yet perhaps it was not risky enough. Or I guess what I'm getting at is what SEEMS like more risk, sometimes isn't. Sometimes it's what's necessary to get beyond riskiness. It's all very strange to me. I can think big in terms of ideas but not in terms of money.
Many people would cry with joy to have the credit card balance I do. Yet it bothers me to be carrying any credit card balance. I'm told by financial magazines that I shouldn't be, that credit card debt crushes people. Yet, when I read about entrepreneuers and how they get their business up and going, they often take the risk of maxing out their credit cards. I'm not going to go that far, but I think I do need to look at how best to use my credit card as a financial resource during this time, to not be so afraid that I hamstring myself by fear of using it instead of from using it too much, as most people apparently do.
This is quite a quandry for me. What is the right use of credit or debt? When is being too conservative being too risky? I fear this is one of those things one has to learn from experience and that I should have started learning MUCH earlier than this so I'd have more time to recover from mistakes.
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